Friday, August 31, 2012

Neon City (1991)

I'm... a doctor.
HOL: A non-sequential review in pictures.

Oldest trick in the book: Hit on somebody when they're sad.

Why can't he just cover his eyes?
Poop jokez.
Juggalo skins.

Cool guy. B-)

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Body Strokes (1995) & Transformations (1988)

HAR: I would have liked to take a longer, harder look at Body Strokes.

Transformations was just vile and stupid. It's about a stupid jerk who gets a space plague from having sex in a dream. Stupid.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Doctor Mordrid (1992)

SEB: Based on "an idea" by Charles Band...anyone?

HAR: A banal entry in the "War of the Wizards" genre. Notable for Pecface (AKA Muscleface) and well, not much else really.

(The Wikipedia article says Band's son had the rights to Doctor Strange but they expired before production.)

Monday, November 21, 2011

The Sand Fairy (1991)

SEB: ...sorry guys.

HAR: I don't know. I really enjoyed seeing the Sand Fairy's balls.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Death Machine (1994)

SEB: Ho Ho was really great in this. It sucks that the scratch-off ticket totallyfell apart, maybe it was just a joke.

HAR: My favorite part was when the cyborg took a dump. Also, there was a lot of unnecessary yelling in this movie.

SEB: If you're referring to William Hootkins, a.k.a. "John Carpenter", a.k.a. Porkins' performance then you're WAY OFF the mark bud...
William Hootkins † (1948-2005)

JES: Airheads meets Alien but not in a good way. Didn't think that combo couldmiss the mark. Also, I have a problem with the only main female character in the movie being called a "Bitch" about seven times.

SEB: UPDATE! HOOTKINS SIGHTING! as Col. Taylor (about 30 secs. of screen time) in Nicolas Roeg's Bad Timing (1980) starring Art Garfunkel. Unfortunately, no awesome death scene for William in this one.

Col. Taylor seconds before he eats Art Garfunkel in Bad Timing